コミュ力の改善は難しい

エニアグラム

多くの人がコミュニケーション能力に自信を持っていません。あなたもその1人ではないでしょうか。どれほど人付き合いが上手くても、コミュニケーションは向上していかないでしょう。それが現実です。本当の意味でコミュニケーションが身に付けるには、どうしたら良いのか、この記事を読めば分かると思います。

 

コミュ力は習慣によって形成される

 

コミュ力は、毎日のよう使われている能力です。日常的に、反射的に使う言葉や行動に、あなたの能力がはっきりと分かってしまいます。特に、自分では分かりませんが、傍から見ると、明らかに見えてしまいます。

 

人は相手の悪いところばかり見えてしまうので、その悪いところがなくなれば、人が変わった姿はよく見えるのです。その逆もしかり。良かった姿が悪くなってしまったら、その姿も印象として記憶に残るでしょう。

 

それに対して自分では、自分の姿が見えないように、自分のコミュニケーション能力がどれほどあるのか判断もできないと思われます。それは、仕方がありません。鏡を見たところで、自身のコミュニケーション能力など分からないのですから。

相手に評価されて、コミュニケーションは上達する

 

自分では評価できない能力であるのだから、他人に評価してもらう必要がある。

だが、そのコミュニケーションを口に出して、評価してくれる親切な人はどれほどいるのだろうか。ほとんどの場合は、誰もいないだろう。

 

自分から友達や上司に、「私にはどれだけの能力がありますか!?」と伝えないといけなくなる。それは難易度が高いかもしれない。なかなか知り合いに、そのような評価をしてもらおうとして、的確なことを伝えてくれない。だからといって、相手を責めてはいけない。そんなことを言われても、そもそも判断の基準が分からないのだから、何も言えないのだ。

 

ならば、どのようにコミュニケーション能力を上達させる必要があるのか。

 

人の反応に敏感になる

 

コミュ力がある人の条件の1つとして、「相手の反応に敏感」であることが挙げられる。

この相手の反応に敏感であることは、あなたが友達と話している時に、相手の顔色を見て、「この話は面白いのだろうか」「つまらないのだろうか」「興味があるのだろうか」と思考をフル回転させているでしょうか。

 

相手の表情やしぐさを全力で観察することによって、相手の興味や関心などが身に染みて感じられるようになると思います。口に出した言葉と本心が乖離している場合があり、その場合は、相手の表情を見れば、一目瞭然。

 

わざわざ声に出さなくても、相手のことが分かるようになってきます。

 

その相手の反応に敏感になることこそが、コミュニケーション能力なのです。

 

まとめ

 

コミュ力は毎日のように鍛錬できます。

人との会話の中で、相手がどこでどのような表情をして、どのようなしぐさをするのか、よく観察することが練習になります。

 

それが無意識のうちに刷り込まれていきば、あなたのコミュニケーションの能力は自然と向上していくでしょう。

 

 

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